DVD Review: Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy
So the film adaptation of the book of the radio series finally got made, after the author had been working on it for god knows how long. So long, in fact, he got around to dying first.
It had some stuff from the book and some new stuff. I'm sure real fans would get all precious about this, but for the normal people amongst us who, you know, just enjoyed the daft story and the sense of humour, well, it's all good stuff and I enjoyed it. So screw you, squares.
It was pretty well cast - for example, Zooey Deschanel was not profoundly irritating, unlike Sandra Dickinson in the TV series. Even Martin Freeman was okay, although he did occasionally revert to his 'um, ah, um, ah, mmmm' persona from The Office and Love Actually.
Which reminds me - I gather this film was a joint-British production and as such it features a number of the usual (compulsory?) faces such as Chancellor, Nighy and Rickman. So where the hell was Andrew Lincon?
In short: Not as bad as they say.
Bargain hunting tip
You get this leaflet (badly reproduced below) inside DVD cases these days warning how bad the quality of pirated films is:
“90% of all pre-release pirate DVDs are filmed from the back of a cinema...
That can mean wobbly, obscured footage and muffled sound.”
Yeah, cinemas are shit like that –
and they charge about eight quid.
Yet there's a bloke at work who can offer me much the same experience on DVD for a couple of quid! How is that not a bargain?
Charles Clarke has it spot on
We definitely need to clamp down on the culture of disrespect in this country and I think I have the solution: Get rid of all the twats, wankers, cunts, fuckwits, pricks and all the other assorted useless, annoying shitbags who conspire to annoy and bang - sooner than you know it there'd be nobody left to disrespect. Simple, is it not?
Travel Review: Nottingham
My journey to Nottingham started at the boarded-up building site that is London St Pancras station. This is a little short on facilities (no Burger King, for example). The toilets were protected by a burly attendant and it cost 20 pence to get past him. Perhaps because of this, I found them to be a clean and tidy place to void my bowels. My only complaint would be lack of ventilation, so I beat a hasty retreat once the movements were over.
Suitably relieved, I boarded one of Midland Mainline's new Class 222 Meridian trains. Having taken advantage of some very reasonable weekend offers, I took my First Class seat and sat back to enjoy journey ahead. My feelings are mixed - on the plus side, it was comfortable and very spacious, not least because I was lucky enough to have a whole bay of four seats for the entire journey. This was especially enjoyable since the rest of the train was jammed to the rafters - something I found out while trying to get to the buffet (or MM Bar as it is known round those parts) which is a couple of carriages away from the first class accommodation, for some odd reason. On the minus side, these trains have diesel engines under each carriage, so they do tend to rumble and vibrate when accelerating. Also, by the time the journey was nearing its end, only one toilet was functioning and this was at the opposite end of the train. Nonetheless, it was a perfectly pleasant place to defecate, despite the nagging fear that a queue might be forming outside and that the person at the head of the queue might be attractive and in posession of a functioning sense of smell.
Nottingham itself is very much like Bristol or any other medium-sized city, only with an added opportunity to be run over in the shape of a tram. It has the obligatory branch of Pizza Hut - one where the toilets are frankly
not up to scratch.
Nottingham Rock City is a good place to go if you want to go deaf listening to 1980s-vintage Heavy Metal music. I will be sure to take some Immodium should I ever visit again as the toilets are diabolical. No locks, pools of water (?) on the floors, you name it. Luckily there
was paper, so this man got to do what he needed to do. The attendant was even kind enough to hand me a paper towel to mop my brow. I declined his offer of aftershave though. On balance, they the club was actually not too bad - the entry fee and drinks were not extortionate, and there was other entertainment on offer in the large upstairs room in the form of an eclectic DJ. So eclectic, in fact, that he couldn't play any single record for more than about a minute before spinning it back and replacing it with something from a totally different genre. He obviously had a lot of records to get through.
By 2am, we found there was only one fast food outlet open, a rather dire fried chicken shop. Given my precarious internal state, I declined this delicacy.
The journey back the next day was actually better than the outward one. Again, the seat was first class and was actually even more comfortable than the newer train I rode on the journey north, mainly due to the lack of engine noise in the venerable InterCity 125 carriages. Of course, the buffet was next to the first class, where it always was and always should be and Midland Mainline have done them up rather nicely, with modern lighting and some very nice clean, modern aluminium toilets. You will be glad to hear that by this time I did not need to go beyond 'number one'.
So, in summary: Nottingham - not a bad place by any means, but probably not the best place to go if you have the runny shits.
Pea Soup Update
Faeces back to normal colour. Remaining soup stored in freezer (self-imposed ration of one portion per week).
CD Review: Safe As Fuck by Goldie Lookin Chain
It's all just a lot of childish swearing; the joke's worn thin; one-hit wonders; novelty band; blah blah blah... Oh fuck off you miserable fuckers! This is great stuff!
Highlights are R'n'B, Hit Song (both
far too good considering they're 'just' pisstakes) and Sister.
Book Review: Closing Time by Joseph Heller
I liked Catch 22. Not an original thought. I didn't really like this book, its sequel. Probably not an original thought, either.
This is a shame because, thanks to the wild variations in pace, it took
ages to read.
There were some characters who shared their names with characters from the earlier book. There were some far more interesting characters who weren't in the original story, but they all fitted together in the end, just like in that clever film Love Actually.
There was also some heavy-handed satire and some in-jokes.
Remember, remember the 14th of October
I hope everyone remembers
Boss' Day!
It is very important that you let your boss know how much you appreciate them. So buy them a card, it really is the least you can do. Maybe flowers too, whatever you feel is appropriate. Just do whatever it takes to let them now that you actually
like them, rather than just tolerate them each day so you can collect your wages, pay the mortgage and feed the kids.
I hope this catches on to such an extent that next year Clinton Cards invent "employee's day" - where the management give their charges a reward for their sterling service!
UpdateIgnore the last paragraph. I forgot - that's what salaries are for.
This week I have mostly been eating...
...Pea and Ham Soup.Homemade pea and ham soup, that is, none of your tinned rubbish:
- Take two boxes of dried peas and soak them overnight
- Fry an onion and some garlic in a large pan
- Add some bacon bits
- Add two vegetable Oxo and a kettle full of boiling water
- Simmer until the peas are mushy
- Put a blender thing in the mixture and blend until smooth
- Add some more bacon bits
- Add cornflour if necessary
- Cook for a bit
- Eat the soup
Not only does this taste great and cost little, it also turns your shit green!
Seriously. My shit last night was sort of yellowish green and had a consistency pretty much like the soup (probably due to excess lager consumption). By this afternoon, the stool was firm again and
much darker green.
Result!
Welcome
This is a new blog all about books and music and films and things. All bought to you by THE best phone number, ever.
