Monday, October 10, 2005


I apologise in advance to my faithful reader for the lack of detail in this post.

I was hoping to bring you the full, gory detail of my latest bowel movement – a written image of how, if one could imagine oneself in the bottom of the toilet pan staring upward (like some drowning insect or perverse spy camera) one would find oneself watching a pair of flabby, pockmarked buttocks parting just for long enough to reveal a distended sphincter, dilated as if to to form a laughing mouth, its joyous countenance rapidly contorting into that of a nauseated face, violently vomiting half a gallon of vile brownish-yellow foaming liquid, the consistency of over-watered boiling porridge, flecked with half-digested peppers and the remains of barely chewed mushrooms.

But sadly, I cannot. For I passed that yesterday.

Since then and despite a healthy intake of Thai Green Curry, my stools have been perfectly manageable, to the point of my actually enjoying passing them.

Again, my apologies.


At 8:11 am, Blogger Fur Q said...

I'm very disappointed in you. I, on the other hand, have been mainly been consuming 4 day old casserole, spicy Italian chicken, red wine and Guinness so my stools are spectacular at the moment. Like a waterfall on the River Styx I can tell you.


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